I’m a warlock.
This is me accepting that. I like to use the word witch or even magi sometimes. I thought maybe because I can cast fire almost like a mage that that was okay. But my fire is redder, hotter, and not from arcane sources. At its hottest, my fire is green. It’s fel. It’s fel fire, and it’ll never go away.
I can summon demons, too. My first time on my own, it felt easy. I’d studied the theory for weeks. I guess I was scared that something would go wrong. I knew every step, every incantation. When the time came, it was over quickly. An imp stared back at me and for a split second, was obedient and ready to carry out orders.
That’s where it went wrong. You see, for all the theory, I’d forgotten the most important part: Domination. I knew what I had to do and was ready, and it’s not like I thought the imp was cute or innocent. It’s a demon. A tiny servant of the worst being in the universe was in my living room! But before I raised my hand, before I barked a command, I stopped. It felt like something was constricting my chest. I couldn’t speak. For a second, I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t do it. Something about it, deep down, scared me. I say that I’m over Claret and the old coven has nothing over me, but maybe there’s still something left…
The imp threw a fireball and leaped away through the open window. Of course no books or theories said keep the room shut tight. I felt stupid. For a little while, I thought maybe I’d be arrested. The imp is, after all, somewhere in Stormwind. The guards here hate demons and warlocks who summon them. Or maybe it’s gone elsewhere by now. Maybe even another warlock, a better one, took it under its control and everything is safe again.
Safe. That’s what we have to do. That’s what I have to do. Someone has to wield this magic, understand it. Someone has to leash demons and get ready for the Burning Legion if it comes back. How can we fight something we don’t understand? But I understand it. It just scares me. I’m so weak. I need to get over this.
That’s why I joined this new coven. I needed to accept this. And if that meant surrounding myself with real warlocks, then that’s what it’s going to take. I also needed to learn. One day, I’ll need to control a demon. Talking about them, banishing them… those are easier. Banishing feels good. It’s a one-time thing. Not constant, total control over something else. But there isn’t going to be someone better than me around to do it. I’m pretty sure. That’s how all the stories go. So I’m going to learn. I just need to let go of her and everything she was, everything she did.
I need to let go. I need to move on. This is what it is. This is what I am and what I’m going to do.
I’m a warlock.
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