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The following is the in-character journal by Idella. She is penning about recent in-game events. Following this journal entry, Idella notably goes very scarce on the ship, no longer lurking in the corners she’s usually found. This detail is being included for roleplay hook purposes. 

It’s always something like this.

So many people don’t know about the dark. They live their lives like it doesn’t exist. Every time they come across it, they’re horrified, act like such a thing doesn’t exist or shouldn’t exist at all, and people like me are one in the same with the dark. That we do what we do because it’s some kind of voluntary hobby. A choice. They don’t know. They don’t know what we do keeps it at bay. They don’t know that souls don’t just cross over without incident. They don’t know how many claws reach for them every second of the day, from every shadow. How those claws turn into a frenzy the moment their souls pass over. Why wouldn’t there be people like me, then? Why would people reject people like us? 

It’s because of the light. Not the Light, but the people who teach it. They only want people to nod, to agree, to obey, to not acknowledge the world’s darkness and the people who learn it to fight it. That’s what I’m doing. That’s what I am. But I’m always treated different. It’s all different. It’s never any different, she was right. I saw it over, and over, and over again. Always the same pattern — the meet, the trust, the friendship, then when their soul starts to cross over into the black and you save them, you do everything you can to save them, they turn on you. He’s going to turn on me. He’s going to hate me. He’s going to wake up and everything will change. It will be all my fault. He will always make it my fault.

It’s always this way. She’s shown me. I’ve seen it. I’ve seen it over, and over, and over. This is what it is, this is what it is. It’s never been any different. Why did I think it would be different every time? I saw it, in each of her lives, her try to do it differently. Try to keep the friend, or family, or lover on her side every time. Every time she had to do something, every time she had to save their soul. I saved him. He’s alive. He can live! He can move on from Daisy, he can find love, or maybe just love himself again… he’s fine. I did it. I did it because I had to. It’s done. It’s done now.

I’m done now. This… this is how I pay back my favors. With hate. He helps me, I save him… and he hates me. He hates how I do it. He hates how I am, who I am. But I fight against the black. I do whatever it takes. I stand against the dark. I know its every voice and shadow and they know me by name. I see it now. This is what this life is supposed to be. I’ll keep standing. I’ll keep being. He lived so I could find myself. This is the path before me now.

The first souls will be taken from Naz’jatar.

Author Ari
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Comments (2)

  • halonan
    October 12, 2019 at 7:38 pm
    Salvation at the cost of damnation.
  • October 13, 2019 at 12:54 pm
    But who is the most damned? The soul that was saved, or the one that made and carries out the bargain?

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