Journal,
I am going to talk about Petal and Uncle and the Monastery and sword dancing now.
When I was still recovering Petal came and sat with me. She watched over me at night and was there when I woke up to help me. She and Kun both. They are very kind and I am very glad and luckee to know them. I am so lucky so much of the time. She used magic to make me a space night sky in the house and it was beautiful. I lvoed it. I have never had anything so [scratchout] [scratchout] [scratchout]
I do not have words for Petal and how much I am glad she is my friend.
I think she was worried about me. I [scratchout] can not blame her a lot. I was not good. I do not know if I am ever really good but I was espeshully not good. Then she came one day and said she talked to her Uncle which I did not expect. I swore to help her find a way to get home becus she did not think she could go home without having the thing Blackwald stole so I promised to help her forever until she could as long as it would not break my other oths or hurt my other friends. So when I herd that I was very happy. And then she said she talked to him about me coming there to visit. I did NOT expect that. But I was happy to go becus it is Petal even if it is new and scary a little.
So I did.
It is a tempil high in the mountins. Very very old and cold and high up. There were not a lot of peeple becus Petal said they study an older way of doing things there. I met Uncle. He [scratchout] is very intense and scary a little but he also seemed sort of kind even if he made me very very very nervous. I told him how Petal and I met. She told him about being her knight.
She also said I was her best friend. I have never been anyone’s best friend before. I did not know what to say and sort of stared becus what?
Uncle talked to me some and Petal some and I think they are ok now which makes me so very happy. She took me around and explained things. We walked and talked and it was nice. There were some people there that were not very ncie to her and that made me unhappy. They blame her for the thing being stolen and they were kind of scared of me.
That [scratchout] made me sad.
We talked about things. She drew me. She is so talinted. She is a great mage and she draws and can do so much. She does not think she can though and I want to make her know what I know which is that she is great but I do not know how.
It bothers me sometimes.
No. It bothers me all the time.
And then after we talked and went home she came back and brought me a scrole. It was from Uncle. It said I could come there and study monk things if I wanted sometimes. I was very surprised. But I am a Templar first and I swore and I told her that but she said that was ok and I could come on days when I can and that is fine.
I… I like the monk things. Monks are SO impresiv. They have a lot of control and grase and balinse. I like them almost as much as I like paladin things. But I can not be a paladin. Light does not come to Worgens.
This is fine. I am fine. I am fine. It is what it is and I will be fine. Worgens are too dark I guess and that is why. It is fine. I did not dream of that any ways. It is fine, even though I am very dum and silly.
Before, Uncle and Petal both mentioned sword dancing. It is a pandaren monkish thing. I asked Uncle if he could show me but he said I would have to ask Petal. He was smiling weerd as he did, sort of like he was Blackwald when he has stolen panties. I do not understand why Blackwald steels panties. He has his own? Does he need some? Maybe I will get him some.
A few days ago Petal and I went to talk. She was outside Stormwind with sheeps by a house there. She was meditating and we meditated together and then we talked some and it came to sword dancing and she said she would show me.
She is SUCH a good friend.
She did show me. She is so grazeful and moves very well. She only used one sword and an open hand with a fan though. The moves were very diffrent than Alliance things. They circle and make like water a little moving smooth but fast. I tried, but I could not get it right and I got kind of frustrated. Petal made me feel better though.
Petal said [scratchout] [scratchout] that the wolf was beautiful. I do not think Petal would lie but I am not beautiful. She thinks I am I guess which I do not know how that makes me feel But the wolf is VERY not beautiful. It is a monster.
RIGHT? But it is also a monster who protects me some and Petal thinks it is beautiful and Etsi said Goldrinn was a protector and everyone says things all the time like I should be MORE wolf which is a BAD IDEA and I do not know and it scares me becus I MUST KNOW to keep in control.
But Petal said the dance must be fun and joy full. She said there was no good and evil only choices. (I do not know about that becus the Legion is pretty evil to me but I do agree about choices being the most important.) She said she is not afraid of me and will be there no matter what. She said harmony and peace are diffrent things.
Petal said “But we’re whole. Everything. You. Me. Trees. That sheep over there that’s been watching you for the last twenty minutes? There’s stuff inside of us. Tugging us in every direction. Uncle calls them ‘Furies’ – but call them what you want. It doesn’t matter. We have good stuff. Love. Friendship. Joy. Excitement. Contentment. We have ‘bad stuff’. Fear. Hate. Pride. Jealousy. Rage. If we didn’t have anything else, they’d eat us whole. …But we’re both. We -need- both. Fear makes us alive. Rage gives us the ability to stand up to injustice. Love makes us vulnerable. Joy gives us purpose. That’s harmony – finding the balance. Learning to stop before the fear eats you alive… or the joy makes you blind.”
I want to remember that exactly as it is so I thought it in my head till I could say it all without thinking it and wrote it down. I do not understand it all entirely but I think it is an important thing. I do not know if I will ever have harmony OR peece. It is a very pandaren thing to think. But I am not pandaren. I am worgen. I do not know if this will ever be an opshin for me.
But it still seems like good advise.
However I started to think and I remembered how I water danced for Mosur and the Water Spirit on the beech and I remembered not doing it for me but for other people. So I sword danced for Petal becus she deserves it and the Templars and my home in Westguard and for every one. It worked and I did not know how I did it and I still do not, but I must practice any ways Petal says, which worries me.
She said it was very good. I think it was mostly bull shitted as Kory says. I do not know if it was RIGHT. I used two swords becus I had been in Stormwind to buy two swords becus some times the best defense is a good offense. My Treatise says that. And I am big and strong and I can use very large swords one handed, and I have realized I think I do not have a dominint hand like most peeple becus I can switch and be comfortabl. So I wanted to see. It was very like water but it was sort of wolfy too. Not bad? I don’t think? I did not lose control. But there was…
…Fury, just not like anger, to it. I do not know the proper words. It was but it wasn’t. I was thinking of good things.
I do not know if I can even do it again. Petal said I would give Master Qi a run for his moneys which I do not think I can do and I do not know him. But Petal says harmony brings strength beyond strength. I think I may need that before the end of the Legion comes.
Petal is going with some Teersgard tomorrow. They are fighting mages that are different from the Kirin Tor who sort of seem useless sometimes. I am going with her. She did not want me to becus she does not want bad things to happen. It will be fine. We are strong together. If she tried to keep me from going…
Well she told me where and when and why already so I will just find her on my own and she will not send me back then and then I will go with her.
I will die before I let anything happen to Petal.
I will become the wolf before I let anything happen to Petal.
But I am sure it will be fine.
I must ask Kory about swords for sword dancing and ask if there is a way for me to practice more and the Alliance has anything like it so I can learn from that too.
I am tired now. I will write more later.
-CAEL
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