JURNAL: RESPECT

JURNAL

TIAN MONASTRY

Jurnal:

I am at the Monastry again. I do not want to be. The Templars are geering up to go to the Broken Shors. 

[scratchout] 

I am here insted. The Justicar says that I hav atracted the [scratchout] attention of the deemon that has kidnaped som Templars. He is tough. I fot him before. 

He went in my head and tried to make me kill them. I [scratchout] [scratchout] [scratchout] 

[scratchout] 

[scratchout] 

I do not know what happend or why it happened. But I will NOT let him turn me into a [scratchout] slave again. I think the wolf and I… did somthing. 

[scratchout] [scratchout] I have not been able to figer out what it was. 

Insted of obeying him I [scratchout] jumped off the side and was hurt kind of bad I guess. I do not remember. They say the Justicar saved me with her heeling. I still hurt from it sometimes. [scratchout]  I was in bed for a while. I am better now and practising. 

But becus I did not obey him, the deemon is [scratchout] intrested in me. Wich is bad. Probly VERY bad. 

So the Justicar took me with her back to Pandaria. 

I am glad to see the pink trees. But I do not want to miss things. I have not asked when I will be going back. I am sort of scarred to know the anser. 

Today somthing intresting happened. I lerned about respect. This does not meen just being nice and [scratchout] considerit to people. 

I went to meditate in the dojo because there were people by the water falls. The Justicar was there. She looked like she was meditatting too or somthing. I almost left but [scratchout] I thought maybe she could use companee. Quiet companee is good to meditate to. She sed yes. I did not do badly. I think I mite be getting better. She sed so too wich made me verry happee. Some days are better than others but today was good.

She was [scratchout] [scratchout] praying and meditatting with the Light. I do not know why Light has a big L but it does in many things when it is not from a candl or somthing. I think Light is [scratchout] power like paladins and preests have and light is for seeing by. I do not know many things about big L Light so I asked. I wanted to write it down in the jurnal while I could remembr it cleerly. 

She said the Light has pillers. I do not know what a piller is, but it seems importint. Light takes studeeing to do and part of that is the pillers. She asked if I wanted to know about them. I sed yes. 

I am not a paladin. But I can still be good I think mostly. Or try. And the Light seems to be importint for a lot of people I like. I do not know about it and I [scratchout] want to a little. Even if all I do is work better with paladins when we are fighting togethr. 

Reading the book Blackwald got me has helped my spelling I think. I see the words and I can remember them. 

The first piller is RESPECT. [This is all capital letters, written over several times to bold it for emphasis.] That means a lot of things. Mostly it seems to mean that even if you are fiting somone, you are not a cheeter and have [scratchout] honor. Most people respect their allys but you have to repect enemees too. Enemees are fiting for thier home and family somtimes just like we are. The Justicar sez this makes people closer to the Light. I think that is good.

I felt bad here. I have tried to respect people I think but I have not done well with Aunne and she is not even an enemee. [scratchout] [scratchout]  I do not know how to fix. I do not know how to not be scared of her. It is not right or respectfull and it bothrs me a lot that I can not do it.

I will try harder. I have to. I do not know how or what I will do but I have to.

I asked about the deemons and how they do not do that. They do not fight for anything except to kill evrything. They are like my wolf. It wants to kill evrything. They do not respect anyon. She sed that you must do it then too. [scratchout]  Deemons and other monsters want to make you not be respectful becus they do not want to be closer to the Light and they want to make other people not be too. She sed she was meditatting on how to be respectful to the deemons and that is why she was there. I think it may even be more importint to do it then when they do not respect you back than doing it normaly becus of the closness to the Light. [scratchout] 

People living in sun shin do not need lanturns. People in night times do. 

She also sed that bad depend on the eye of the beeholder. I think this means point of view. Pandaren can look like scarry bears to a kid. I asked if som things were always bad. She sed yes. Sielic was not always bad. But he has [scratchout] choices. He has made them. I have made them. 

Deemons and Scurg are always bad becus they cannot make choices. Even if they did not want to be it they are and now they have to do what they are told. 

[scratchout] [scratchout] [scratchout] [scratchout] [scratchout] [scratchout] [scratchout] [scratchout] 

I sed somthing I am not sure I should have. But it happened. I think it was becus they are slaves too and I was thinking that that I sed it. 

I sed that Monsters do not get to think. [scratchout] [scratchout] [scratchout] 

That is what they told me a lot when they made me change and hurt me when I did not obey. I do not know why I sed it out loud insted of in my head. I think she knows where it came from even if I have not told her that part [scratchout] specificcally. She is very smart. 

She sed that monsters do not always stay monsters. The choices you make will define who you are. 

I think she was talking about me without talking about me. 

[scratchout] That makes sense in my head. 

But I think she was talking about other people too. Sielic and Aunne and Esre who is a warlock now I know not a mage but still helps people and is good. And Wei who is nice to Murdok. And even Murdok as long as he does not do that again. The deemon hunters. 

It is easee to think about them like that. [scratchout] [scratchout] I have trubl thinking of me like that. I do not feel that. I do not know why. 

[scratchout] [scratchout] 

[scratchout] 

When I try all I can feel is what I felt before. And I am scarred again. 

The Justicar sed to think on it more. I think I need to. The pillers are hard. But I think this is importint even if I do not know how to say why. 

I must go. I want to practis with the poll arm I found. I hope I hav writen evrything I sed. 

-CAEL