(( Related: SWTOR Journal (Halonan) Pen Pals, Letter to Jackie Rees #3. The following is on my SWTOR smuggler, Captain Jacqueline “Jackie” Rees. It’s sent over a secure HoloNet frequency to Halonan. ))
Halo,
You’re probably reading this while in your bunk. If you are, you’re going to sleep after this. A tired pilot is a dangerous pilot, and I don’t mean dangerous to enemies. A tired pilot gets distracted or makes mistakes. You can’t do either of those things. So when you finish this up, put your datapad down, curl up, and sleep. Sleep is one of the biggest things you’ll ever miss, Halo. Don’t screw that up if you can help it.
As for Doubt, she’s a shit dance partner. Punch her in the face. She makes you slow and tries to trip your feet. Let her screw with Self-Loathing or whatever the shit she goes with these days. She’d probably prefer them, anyway.
I can’t believe I went along with that dumb metaphor. And yes, I know what those are. I’m a smuggler, not a dumbass.
As for punches, I’ve been pulling a few, Halo. My punches punch your nose into the back of your head. And I mean the real ones, not the dumb poetic ones. Or maybe those, too. Point is, those things aren’t as important right now. Maybe when you get back, I’ll tell you a few stories. I really don’t like writing out things like that. Or stuff in general. You have me writing more than I’m used to. Most of the time, I just record holologs, but I figure the Republic Navy wouldn’t be too happy about that. And before your mind goes in that direction, no. I’m not naked when I do those things. You’re a jackass.
As for the Force: Halo, you got to think of what’s more dangerous. You train and fall on the wrong side, or you don’t train and some ass uses you. You’re either strong enough to train and not screw up or scared enough to not train and get used. I think time’s coming up on that choice. It sucks. It’s something I thought about when I realized my kid was Force sensitive. Yes, she is. I’m not sure if I ever had a chance to tell you. Suddenly keeping her safe turned from credits and school to keeping her away from a whole different galaxy of things. It’s not been easy. At all.
You’re part of something, Halo. I know you didn’t exactly sign up for it. Sometimes some of us are unluckier than others. But I think you’re catching onto that. You can’t hide from what you’ve been dealt forever. Take it from someone who’s done a lot of running. Everything catches up at some point. Sometimes, you have to turn around and face it. You just need to figure out what that exactly means.
I think I’ve done a pretty shit job of lulling you to sleep, so I figure I’d close with this: Yes, flying sometimes can feel routine and old, especially when you do it so much. But it’s still us flying against the galaxy, Halo. It’s freedom. You’re just flying for a few more reasons than most. You’re keeping some of those little guys just figuring out how to take off safe. Remember your first time flying, Halo? It’s that. It’s all about the kids that come after. That’s what you’re spreading. Or at the least, you’re keeping Zakuul off their back. Shit works out, Halo. You just need to live long enough to see it.
Which means you need to get your ass to sleep. I have a rule about not missing dead people and I’m not jumping to break it.
Good night,
– J
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