My writings have stalled, and I know why. My life is just that, a life. No one need know of meaningless details that I have noticed. Instead, I have decided to pen out one of the most important times of my life. My own personal revelation, the closest and most frightening brush with death that has ever occurred in my life. I talk of the breaking point I had, and what hastened my increasing compassion and concern for all life, and not just that of my own. To do this, I skip ahead many years. I pass by many events, including my first time in Stormwind, my first time sailing, and my first love, albeit nothing more than a few trysts and some tumbling in the bushes that arose from them. 

 

The city of Stormwind was tense, as it always is with some problem or another. At this time, many people were opposing Scarlet Crusaders in the city as the Order seemed to go through a revival of sorts and many has popped up, where before there was but a few. These few were arrogant, and constantly brimming with anger and close to boil. Tensions ran high around them, and conflict followed their every step. Many fights broke out, and ended, but they were never resolved or destroyed or banished. Nothing was ever accomplished, and then, I was approached by a man most know in the city, if they do not notice him. The old man must have been irritated that night for he spoke in an almost angry tone, insulting the Scarlet Order and I agreed with him. He was right, the Scarlets were a mutual enemy to almost everyone, and only the work of a few good Scarlets kept the rest from being trounced right out of the city. At this point, gold may have been exchanged. Hints may have been dropped, and I may have been on my way to observe my new targets.

 

I watched for a few days, learning what I could. Scarlets were common enough, but the best way to solve the problem was to take out one of the few good Scarlets that were used to justify the rest. I watched, I waited. Soon, a contact informed me of a potential target. Though the man had toned down his red colors, and was not as zealous as many of his kind, he was one of the prime examples. This man was good, and yet had Scarlet motivations at one time. He still contributed to the city, served the people, and the Light, and I believe he would serve well as the target. When one targets an organization, a few linchpins are all that need to be removed. I decided to study this man, this Taldrus Dawnfield.

 

After another few days, I had learned all I needed to know. Dawnfield patrolled the city streets of his own volition, he always donned his armor, identifying him was easy, even from afar. In the few days I watched, he never exposed himself in any accessible way. I still believe that he wears his armor to sleep. He was never exposed, but I still found him to be an accessible target. He was prone to seeking solitude, and withdrawing to quiet, secluded areas. An almost perfect set up, I used to think.

 

I decided to make my move, and followed the Paladin into the Cathedral. I followed quietly behind him, candlelight being the only illumination. He sat down, and began to read as I walked into the room. His sense were exceptional, and he detected my presence quickly, and so we spoke for a moment. Then I threw a pair of blades in his direction. The man's armor and arms were not merely for show, however, and he brought up a shield, deflecting both blades and then charging forward, battering me aside, and following through with the thrust of a sword. I swung one dagger down, knocking at the sword just enough to dodge to the side. I rolled to my feet, and threw another blade, drawing another to replace it in the same fluid motion.

 

Taldrus stalked around me, as I circled him. He started up with a shield bash, meant to stun me and I saw the blade coming. I darted forward first, to his right side and dodged the shield, meeting the hilt of his sword with a spiked glove on my fist. The collision rattled my right arm, but I continued past him, spinning and coming in at his back, but he sidestepped and hammered me with the shield, tossing me across the room. I leaped up onto my feet, and steadied myself, waiting for an opportunity. I saw it. I sprang forward, coming in close to him and brought my blade up and catching the hilt of his sword, tossing it away. I then punched out with my spiked glove, hammering into his right side. He kicked out with his left leg, tossing me again. He went for his blade, but I called upon the shadows and stepped through my own, appearing between him and the blade, leaving from his own shadow. I punched his shield wide, following with a slash to his exposed arm. He released the shield, dodging the wicked curve of my blade. I cursed, and barreled through the empty space. When I turned to face him again, he was kneeling down and grabbing at his shield. 

 

I grinned, and stalked forward, when he drew back around with a simple longsword and his shield again. I was surprised, and looked around quickly, before realizing that he had pulled the sword from the decoration on his shield. At first glance, looking to be mere ostentation to the shield, I quickly realized that it was a real blade, with real force behind it as it punctured my left side. I took the only chance I had, and pushed myself along the blade, slashing at his face with my dagger and punching into his right side with the glove again. He was ready, and kicked me again, advancing with my fall and piercing my side to the floor. He stood above me, victorious, and I was beaten. I grimaced inwardly, feeling the blade slicing my flesh as I tried to twist. The Paladin stood a little, relaxing at the end of the fight, and then withdrew his blade. He told me to leave, and said nothing more, so I ran.

 

In a few minutes, I was in the shadow of the Cathedral, outside, slowly bleeding to death when a Priest approached, having followed the blood. I knew not what happened to Dawnfield after the skirmish, but it mattered not. I failed at my one chance. The Priest looked over me, and began to channel holy energies. I believe myself too far gone, but felt the energy course through me. The Light warmed my cold body, re-knitting flesh and closing the wound. As soon as I felt able to move, I shoved the man away and sprinted off into the night. The strangeness did not escape me though, being both mortally wounded and saved by the Light. The wound had not cleanly healed, but the opening had sealed and that was enough for me at the time. As I rested from my folly, I thought long and hard on the Light, and how healing was just as important as dealing death, more so even. My mind was on a new track, and it would guide me down a new path, unknown to me before.

 

 

I have not put pen to paper in many nights now. My time has been occupied with recent events, and I have much to do. A gift has been granted, and I will do my best to safeguard it. We shall see what comes.

 

I have learned many things over the past couple days, and I have been humoured by many people in the current day and I hope that this will continue.

 

My meetings began with Velhari, of course. Locked away in her cell, I worry for her but I have tried to keep my distance. I feel that the time alone will… do us both good. It pains me to do so, and I have sent some real food to her cell now and will send some more, I only hope she is eating.

 

Second, I met up with Tiderion and expressed my desire to work towards the peace that has been so violently thrown across the Alliance. Velhari's actions accomplished much, no matter what naysayers like Therigard may spout. Tiderion was receptive, as I knew he would be. He is a good man, and has since cemented a peace treaty with the Templars, and Janderius, I hear, was one of the main forces behind it. Good show.

 

Thirdly, Valarian. A man I despised when I first met. His temper, much like mine had once been. A hot head, like Janderius, but he proved me wrong the night everything… happened. He stood his ground, he did not assault anyone. Some would not have seen his actions as restrained, but having known him before, he was well tempered. His fire burns more evenly now and I thanked him for it and extended my friendship to him.

 

This only covers the first day after, and while every day is important now, not all my days are filled with action and excitement as some would believe. However, I did recently meet with Lil.

 

The beginning of my night at the Recluse, I walked up to Lil and she was speaking with some man, I suppose. Upon meeting him, he insulted me and this was met with a short, concise retort from myself, something about removing his head. The night went fairly well, I saw many familiar faces. Lil, of course, Dawnfield, Arialynn, and Nyres as well. Though the night ended rather pensively when Lil began to question me on how I would have acted in Velhari's shoes, and pointed out my current selfishness.

 

I have been wrestling with this now. I have been selfish lately. Is it too late, I wonder now.

 

 

I met with Velhari again, yesterday, and it did not go well. I do not understand what I can do, what I should do. Is that truly such a bad thing? To be lost?

 

I have tried my hand at pursuing peace which seems to be flourishing. We have the naysayers, the men and women who speak out in anger or some misguided sense of honor, but they do not matter. All that matters is that this pursuit is continued in earnest. I wholly believe, and dedicate, myself to peace reigning one day. Between us all. Peace within the Alliance is just the first step for me, but we shall see where the stones shall fall.

 

I thought I would feel better now, having seen Velhari again despite how upset I made her it seems, and yet my heart still aches. The pain does not fade at being unable to do anything for her. She's imprisoned, and I cannot do anything but visit her. I have sent food, I have stopped by, I have watched over those who go to meet with her and yet… I still ache. I am left unaccomplished, incomplete. The rift between us grows and I find myself desperately looking for the bridge to cross, but I do not think I can find it. For the first time in a long time, I see no way forward.

 

I cannot stop trying though. This ache will not fade, no matter the distance and I will continue to hurt, as Velhari said my love will continue to scar and bleed for the rest of my life, but how much more blood will it shed. I will continue to shed it, and this ache will continue, I know, but it seems that these days all I have are words. Meaningless words that cannot make the bridge I need.

 

Confronted with this growing wall, this growing divide, I will do as I always have. I will scale it again and again. I may fall, I may pause, but this will not stop me. I want to be there for Velhari, have to be there for her. If only I could show her my true feelings…

 

I talk to her, and the words just get in the way. I find myself backing away from my own words when she confronts them, I do not want to fight and yet, it seems I must find a way to do so. I wish I did not need help with this, but I am not perfect. Even I must seek out help when confronted with a problem I do not know the answer to. If I am thought to be weak for this, so be it. I feel weak enough as it is when I look at Velhari. I must find a way to help her.

 

If only this was a battle, I could stab my enemies, bleed them dry as I used to so often, but peace is harder. There is no one to stab, no one to kill, and yet the problems remain. The anger, the uselessness, the despair. It all remains, and there is no easy vent any longer. I am a man of words now, but I must find a way to put action to them soon.

 

My first step is going to be to seek out Lil. If she does not think me a greater fool than I think myself, perhaps she can help. I do not want the truth, the answer complete in its form. I merely need the first step. Is it so wrong to call out for help finding their way when one has been struck blind?

Author Sielic
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