The following is the in-character journal writings of Idella. This was written in the upstairs apartments of her new shop in Boralus’ Uptown Borough.
He said he’d rather not know than get either of us hurt.
Does that mean I can ask the other question of the creature instead of ask about Daisy?
No, that’s selfish. I put him in this mess. I should get him out of it. It’s my fault that Daisy — or whoever was acting as Daisy — is gone. When someone comes to me for help like that, there’s not supposed to be harm. Even if that soul, that voice, wasn’t the real Daisy, removing it without meaning to or preparing was… it was wrong. Even if it wasn’t really Daisy. It still hurt him.
But if he’s having second thoughts about finding out who that was, and said he could live without knowing if Daisy forgave him…
No. I did it. It’s my fault.
My hand hurts. Anything I’ve tried makes it worse. It’s like the curse counters all magic. I should have known better than to venture into Nazjatar on my own. Those Naga have been there for Millennia, perfecting all their spellcraft. No doubt that arcanist spent centuries on this curse. That’s why it counters all magic — she had all that time to think through the possibilities. Me, I have less time. The curse is working up to something. I can feel it creeping up my arm everyday. It’s getting hard to write now, and my fingers are going numb. I almost dropped the tarot deck at the party when the fortune teller asked me to shuffle it. What kind of self-respecting witch can’t shuffle a tarot deck?!
And that fortune. I know how to read tarot. Of course it was me, of all people, who drew a blank card. The fortune teller took me away from the crowd to tell me what it meant. I already knew. Most people say that tarot cards can’t tell fates, and they’re right. It’s not dictating what my fate is. Of course not, that’s silly. It’s only telling me what’s happening next.
But I don’t know this fortune teller or how he prepared his deck. I know what a blank card means, but I only touched the deck for a few moments. Besides, I had gloves on and I fumbled the shuffle. Too many things could have muddled the read. I should do my own tarot and stop thinking about this.
And Ryml. I have to fix this. He didn’t consent to the Void creature’s bargain. I did. It was to save him, but that doesn’t mean he should feel guilt. If I hadn’t done what I did, the Void would have taken hold of him. I couldn’t let that happen. He asked me for help. He can be so insufferable sometimes, always poking at what I wear or whoever I flirt with or don’t flirt with, and he’s always mad that I didn’t just come right back and sweep Ryo off his feet or something. But he didn’t understand. He didn’t understand why I was staying away. Now he knows. He’s the only one who knows. That’s why I have to save him.
Wait no, that doesn’t make sense. Just because he knows that I’m… no. That shouldn’t be the reason. It’s because I messed up and now he’s hurt. It’s my responsibility.
I put off the commune tonight when he talked about Daisy. I don’t know if I know the whole story, sometimes. I wish that instead of being polite and letting it go, that I tried to find out more before Daisy was gone. I should have realized it was more than just someone who was grieving. Of course I should have realized that actual magic was involved. What kind of self-respecting witch doesn’t —
No. I need to stop that and I need to focus. I need to stop thinking about my mistakes and I need to fix this. The curse can come later. Even if Ryml is having second thoughts now, he may not later. And we’ll only have one shot at this. Once I summon the Void creature within the container, I’m sure it’ll only agree to one question before it starts bargaining. That’s how it works. Everything from the dark requires payment. So we can’t waste it. We can’t waste the question asking about my curse. I can figure out the curse on my own.
I need to be careful. Ryml is poking around about the curse but I don’t want him to feel any more guilty. The curse was my fault. I don’t even know if it is a curse, it could just be… I don’t know. It’s countering every thing I do. In fact, every thing I do do makes it worse. That’s why I think that sea witch made it that way on purpose. I just need another kind of magic to counter it. Phaylinne’s druid magic should do it. Any antipodal magic should help, right? Do more than mine? So that’s what we’ll do. I just have to be patient. Even though it hurts, it’s not too much yet. I can still write. I can still do spellwork. What’s one fumbled tarot deck? Everything will be fine.
…is that snoring? I think Ryml is snoring in the other room. He ended up on the couch in the parlor after I decided to put off the commune. I was worried having him around while the Void creature was there, while the soul that acted as Daisy was there… it could go badly. I need to do the commune when he’s not here. I don’t know how I can manage that — he stayed the night! He’ll wonder why we don’t just pick up where we left off in the morning. Maybe if I should make up some errand he can run so I can do the ritual without him there. That could work.
…yes, I think that’s him snoring. I can hear it through the wall. Does he know he snores? Or maybe… maybe he shifts into his worgen form at night?
No, that’s just a myth. I’ll tell him he snores in the morning. Wait, nevermind — I won’t. He’ll just make some joke about it. He flirts with everyone. Why not also with me? Even if he didn’t give me a straight answer when I asked him about it. Besides. Acting on it, on anything, would be wrong. I keep Ryo at a distance because of… because it’d be wrong. And Ryml is Azeroth’s most torn-open heart right now. Why is it that… no. I can deal with it. It’s fine. I won’t tell him and I’ll send him out first thing in the morning. Hopefully he won’t suspect anything.
I have to stop writing. My hand hurts. But I wrote a lot, so that’s not unusual, right? I’ll let my hand rest and it’ll feel better in the morning. As long as I don’t cast too much magic, it shouldn’t get worse, right? And if I do this ritual carefully, I can minimize the risk to Ryml and if I’m really careful, me. But I can handle it, either way.
Everything will be fine.
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