[Eshai] Letters

Malien and L’ya –

I’m settling in pretty well – Kyrin wants me to run the infirmary and healing services on the Jackal Ascendant.  He says he wouldn’t trust anyone else with it, which is a pretty scary thought.  Sometimes I wonder if I’m doing too much, too soon.  I feel like I have way too much to learn to be in charge of stuff.  Bel says to trust him, and that he knows what he’s doing.  I hope she’s right.

I keep thinking back, though, to what Miss Seella and Alistair said – that I was pretty quick at figuring things out, and they were glad to have me.  I don’t think they were just saying that – especially Alistair, who probably would have skinned me in the first week if I wasn’t doing an okay job.  Maybe I can do this.  I guess I need to until they find someone better.

Bel got hurt in the attack.  When the Sethrak made the storm across the valley, she was out of her airship and helping get people out, and it really hit her bad.  I don’t know if she’s ever going to be the same – but we’re going to try hard and see if we can get her where she needs to be.  I know what it’s like to lose parts of yourself, I mean, obviously, right?  But this is different, somehow.  I keep thinking of how frustrated I was when practicing with Malien and Maisy, and not being able to hold onto stuff, and how many times I just dropped stuff that should have been easy to hold, and then I think of it being more than just my hands and all I want to do is make her better.  And I can’t.  I kind of wish she’d just gotten stabbed or bitten or something – that’s easy.  When stuff inside burns out, though, it’s all really different.

I hope you guys liked the candy and stuff – I’ll send more things when I can, but I haven’t left the ship very often.  There’s just so much to do – but Syrin is threatening to throw me off into the water if I don’t go have some fun at some point, whatever that means.

Zahdi’s getting less useless – she learns fast, and she’s always willing to help, at least once she gets past the ‘eww’ noises.  I think that’s true of a lot of things – most people only see a little bad or gross stuff in their whole lives, even with as many wars as have happened.  Bad stuff changes you though, and you kinda have to rise up or fall down -you can’t stay what you were.  I think she’s really brave, because really?  She could trade on how pretty she is, or find something easier than just trying to learn how to bandage people from a healer who had to learn the hard way, you know?  But she’s here, every day – getting bloody or pricking her fingers on needles or any number of things, and never really complains in a way that means she means it. 

I know  I”m pretty much the youngest person on the ship, but I don’t feel like it.  Sometimes I feel really old.  Everyone is so worried about money and jobs and stuff – and I just want everybody to not be hurt, and I”m really thankful I found family and I get to eat every day.  It’s funny how bad stuff changes what you see as important, you know?

I hope lots of people are buying clothes, and that you are both really happy.  If anybody deserves it, it’s you two. 

I’ll come visit when I can.

– Eshai

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Justicar Arialynn Dawnfield – 

I didn’t know how to really do this, and I”m not really good at writing stuff down the way a lot of people are.  The truth is, though, I don’t know if I’m ever going to get to meet you again, and I realized I had a lot of stuff I had to tell you, and a lot of words I still needed to say.  So – I wrote this.  I hope it’s okay – and I hope it reaches you.  I”ve heard that sometimes letters get ‘lost’ when they cross over from the Horde to the Alliance and the other way too. 

The Templars, Scrappers, and Jackals rescued a lot of people – over forty!, and that doesn’t even count the Tortollen and the Exiles and Zandalari.  You gave a lot of people a lot of hope, and you saved a lot of lives, both now and tomorrow.  On top of just that, someone from the Templars went into the pens and got out a whole bunch of kits, too – I don’t have the count, but there were so many thankful people, and they’re all finding homes, even if we couldn’t find all of their parents.

We didn’t find mine.  That’s okay, though – my brother Kyrin and my sister Roseum both found me.  So maybe we haven’t found everybody.. but we three found each other, and that’s better than I think any of us hoped for.  I don’t know if you’ll ever get to meet them – Rose especially doesn’t like that I helped in your Alliance camp, ’cause she holds a lot of grudges – but I keep looking at them and thinking of the Templars and what you all did.

I just wanted to kill Sethrak.  As many as I could – and I guess that happened.  The thing is, that part?  That part isn’t the part I left with.  I looked around the camp and saw the faces of the rescued ones, and I hugged Rose as hard as I could .. and after I hit Kyrin a couple of times, I hugged him too, and it turns out that’s what I keep thinking about.  I still don’t mind killing Sethrak, but – I have sorta started to figure out that it can’t really be about killing.  It all has to be about something else, or all there is is killing.

I set out to use your people to kill enemies of mine.  I ended up finding people I will always call family and friends, and even with bedpans being thrown at my head sometimes, I found a lot of love and loyalty and people willing to choose what’s right over what’s easiest, and who wanted something other than just hating people all the time.  I think you should tell them all how much they matter.  

See, the world is full of people like Sethrak and the Venture Company and the 7th Legion.  There’s always someone who wants to fight or hurt or kill or steal or break.  The thing is, that kind of stuff is easy – it’s easy to burn down a city or put a sword in someone.  What’s really hard is not.

Not killing.  Not hating.  Knowing when to put down the sword and when to pick it up again.  And I’ve been thinking a lot about that lately, when I’m looking around the Ascendant.  I’m about as small as it gets.  I’m not really powerful, I’m not really special.  And.. if I can change the world, just a little, like I did?  Imagine all the good you can do.

Look at how much you all changed me.

I can’t ever repay what you’ve done.  I know you’ll tell me I shouldn’t worry about it, that it’s just what you do – but that’s not the point.  I’m going to heal people.  I’m going to learn.  And I’m going to do everything I can, especially when I get older and understand a bit more, to help make a world were people can just live in it, as peacefully as they can manage.

Who knows?  Maybe in my lifetime I’ll get to walk into a place like Stormwind and say thank you in person.  I hope so.  Stormwind sounds amazing, and I’d love to show you Thunder Bluff or Orgrimmar.

For now, though, just know that – as much as it cost?  You and yours made a huge difference in the lives of everyone.  Especially me.

Thank you.  For everything.

Eshai –