I am nothing. 

What can I do? I stand by Brembal, I love him, and despite our conflict, our recent fights, our reunion, I do not think I can leave him. Something about him… his power. Passion. Vitality and resilience. My knees and my heart weaken when he enters the room. My heart fills to the point of aching. I feel overwhelmed by the feelings he engenders. I would stand by him, I understand him better now, but what he does…

What he does still causes me pain. 

I broke with the Jedi. I left them, that was my choice. He merely opened the door, and I have no issue with it. I have peace on that front. But I am a moral creature, and my morals and his are still at odds. I am not sure how he found the girl, or how he carried her away, but I feel deep down it was greatly wrong. I know he loves the child, he cares for her, and she has touched him in a way that I have not or perhaps could not do. I know he says he will give her freedom, let her choose to go back to her mother or not. He sends her lessons and books and shows her the path of the Force, but his bias for his philosophy is powerful and lingering. 

And overall, despite his care, the damage has still been done. The girl is hurting, and I ache for her. For them both. For Captain Rees, for Halonan, for my friends, whom I may never be able to see again. I ache, because I stand by him and I cannot see a path to make things right. I am not a Jedi, but I am still a peacekeeper by training and code, and I cannot keep peace. I spend more and more time each day in meditation, seeking peace, seeking answers, but the Force has remained elusive in it’s answers. I seek guidance and cannot find it. 

So I stand beside him and apart from everything else. I watch and can do nothing. I care for the girl as best as I am able, for what is for her benefit is paramount. I meditate, and I fear, for the vision of the falling star is still sharp in my memory. Brembal is surrounded on all sides by a storm, a storm he has crafted, and the lightning will strike one way or another.

Light, how I love him. Help me save them all. 

Author Wallaroo
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