If there is anything I have learned so far, it is that no one is without flaw. What…surprises me, maybe, is that I am aware, and have mentioned before, that Brembal himself is most certainly one of those people. I love him, but at every step of our relationship I see more of the whole. Of his schemes, and his power, his arrogance and his cruelty. It frightens me, sometimes, but I still love him. And I question myself. How *am* I to love someone who will, in a fit of pique, use the Force to choke one of his own men to prove a point? Even if I was sure he would not allow the man to die…
No, he would have, I think.
But not while I was there.
I cannot force change. I cannot force him to change, certainly, but the feelings he has awakened cover more then just love. I feel anger, and frustration, and fear, and the struggle often lies in adapting to these things. I know, of course, that there is no harm in them, something I am thankful that the Order was not able to impress upon me. They each have their place, they are natural to the human (or any other species) condition. Brembal has guided me here, on a path my own questions first set me towards when I lived on Tython. He has been, despite his flaws, my pillar of strength. He pushes me to leave behind entirely the old Code, but he also has given me confidence, experience. Strength of mind and will and is my bulwark against fear.
I trust him. I *know* him. I am starting to see parts of him that he is not willing to see within himself. Fear, that he can conquer. Light, that he cannot entirely snuff out.
Whatever he is or will be, I will stand beside him, and try to be the Light to his Darkness. To guide him for his sake. Whatever his plans, I will try to be his balance.
He is not flawless, nor should he be. Nor should I.