I am not sure what to make of Brembal sometimes.
I love him, I do. I see the good in him that others do not, and it did distress me to see how uneasy my friends were when they were forced to land on Tattooine due to the captain’s injuries. *I* know he would never harm them. He wouldn’t hurt me, and they were my friends…and then there’s a little pang in my heart, because I also wonder about him and his ambition, and his deceit. He does have age and experience and I believe he thinks he knows better then I do, which he does to a degree, and I worry that he’s trying to…how do I say it? He does things or wishes to do things for me, thinking it best. I know his arrogance, and I’ve seen, and felt, his strength.
He doesn’t lie to me, but he is ever evasive. I know what he is, I know he has ambitions that are frightening to me, a little anyways. I hardly know what to make of them, and they don’t always seem real to me. I’m not a queen and I don’t think I ever will be, but I wouldn’t leave him either. I am new to all this. To relationships…to love. But I know my own heart, and it is steadfast. He is full of dancing shadows, and his words move almost as much. But I know where I stand.
I don’t want to be that sort of woman, that one sees in holodramas or things like that, I don’t want to just sweep in and demand changes, but at the same time… I want to speak with him better. To be clear, and to let him know his path bothers me. What we share in the evenings, the intimacy, the passions often sweep aside concerns, and the little glimpses of him I see when we are together are just that. Hints and whispers of a deeper self.
I must try, though. Love is not enough. I love him, but there are things that need to be clear between us and issues that should be met head on, sooner rather then later. And above all, I will be strong for him, and be the light that balances his darkness. This…this I feel is a rightness. The Force moves there, and it gives me hope.