A hand written letter arrives, actually written on paper and hand delivered by a young scamp on Nar Shadaa. It is simply addressed to Captain Jacqueline Rees, from Bedisa.


Captain,

I don’t expect that you’ll want to read this letter, let alone open it. I am hopeful you have, and that I can in some way communicate with you. You were very kind to me, understanding, especially of such a terrible young fool stumbling across your group. A fool you must think I still am, given my connections and my continued relationship and love for Brembal. 

I know what he has done, and I did not and do not approve. I was unaware of what had happened until he told me, and I will admit I lost my temper when he made it clear to me. I…I don’t suppose this excuses my inability to return your daughter, or my non action since. I can only say how truly sorry I am, as hollow as that may seem. I am sorry is as much as can be done at this point, I’m afraid. Losing your friendship stings, and losing contact with the others,but my feelings are not important.

Vanessa is of primary concern now.

She is well, and safe, and for the most part happy. I know you have spoken with her and Brembal a few times, and I hope you have seen some of that. I have begun, or tried to begin, caring for her and tutoring her as I can, and will reiterate that she is a bright and beautiful girl, very smart and shows great potential for Force work. She smiles more often, I think, and is treated very well by us both. It may seem hard to believe, but Brembal does care for her. He is gentle with her. She is very safe here, and she always will be, whatever may come. 

That is one part of what I wanted to say. The other is this… she needs a mother. Brembal has been acting like a father figure, as angry as that must make you, but she also needs a mother. I am a friend for her, but not her mother, as much as I swear I would lay down my life to protect her. She wants you here, and I have seen a dip in her spirits lately because you are not here. You must…you must make time for her. Even briefly, she needs to know she is wanted by you. Loved. She craves her mother’s presence and approval.

And here comes the second, and perhaps most presumptious and hardest to hear. I am probably speaking out of place, and I know I speak with a bias in favour of Brembal, but for all his flaws and mine I do love him. 

Would you be able to consider peace?

What’s done is done. That does not make it right, nor good, but in this moment Vanessa is in a stable, safe enviroment. She is loved and cared for, she only needs her mother more often. I would ask…I would ask you to try and make peace with Brembal, if only for Vanessa’s sake. Your anger must be insurmountable, but for the sake of peace, maybe even healing, is it possible to ask for some measure of forgiveness? There maybe other tolls to pay, other demands that should and ought to be met on our part, but I cannot speak for him on my own. Nor should what happened be forgotten by any means. But there is a poison lingering here that will damage more then just him, or you, or me. 

The hardest part of the training I received was learning how to deal with anger, hatred, and fear. The most intense and negative of emotions. I never had much of it myself, but I saw how others struggled, and I have felt these things recently. We do not simply repress them, as many assume. Some might, but the standards we are taught are different. We learn to let the anger go, to let the fear flow around us, and what is so hard is how much it hurts to do so. We learn to adapt to the pain, and see it for what it is. Poison that will only spread and destroy not just ourselves, but the peace of all around us. 

I know I can’t really ask this of you. It will probably make you angrier, though I pray it doesn’t. I know I am a damn idiot for mentioning it. But I have always strived to be a peacemaker, and that is what I hope to achieve. For you and Vanessa, and my other friends. Be honest, be brutally so, but also try to rebuild from what was shattered. It can be done, and I will do my best to support that.

Regards,

Bedisa

Author Wallaroo
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