So many things are…wrong, right now. I have been trying, somehow, to mend the breach that Brembal has caused by his abduction of Vanessa, but I doubt my words did much to help the captain. She will still be very angry, and rightly so. He… between us, I think, things have been better, but he continues to manipulate, to use feelings and emotions to his benefit, and despite his growing care for Vanessa, I fear that the core of perhaps true affection is too highly tainted by his own darkness and desire for control. I look at him, I see his manipulations and I sense his emotions and I worry.
I love a man who is so bent on ruining others lives.
My meditations have been begun to be overshadowed by fear. The vision I once had, of a mighty storm, returns every so often, and every time the clouds grow darker. I need to take a more active role, I feel, speak with him more openly and stand up against that stubborness, so much like his son’s. The path he is on will lead to ruin, and my own heart I can carry, but I do not wish for Vanessa’s to be broken as well.
There are other concerns. Ishya is a better woman, I believe, then being Sith would indicate, despite even her madness. She seems to have some worry as well, and I trust that. Jackie, I know, will not be quiet for much longer. She will not be content to labour under the emotional chains Brembal has placed her in. And there are others…the other Sith we have encountered, Mavana for one, I am not greatly worried by. But the woman, Mayune. I am unsure of her. She seems…pleasant, to a degree, worldly wise and wary, but she is Sith, and if spending time with Brembal has taught me anything is that it is very unwise to take anyone at face value. To trust one’s instincts when the Force whispers. She is deep, and much can be hidden in such depth.
Mayune is in a position of power, and appears kind. I will return the feeling, but I will be polite and careful.
For now I must focus on becoming more involved. Learning more about Brembal’s business, even the parts I find distasteful. There *are* many paths to power, and as odd as it is for me to think about it now, to create a strong and lasting legacy, to create an empire, one must build with a loyalty that is as much built on love as it is on power. Fear weakens. Awe does not.
Force guide me, for I walk a new and uncertain path.