JOURNAL

The neat lines flow freely and easily now, the Pandaren script elegant as before, each stroke placed carefully and with thoughtfulness. 

I am…happy. I am finally happy, after a fashion. 

For so long I lived in shadow, with only little glimmers of light shining through thick clouds of soot and dust. And every night, still, I awake to nightmares, but now…now they grow lesser upon waking. I do not tremble at every sudden sound, and I do not often flinch when I hear foot steps at the door or approaching me. It is enough. It gives me hope. If I can have these moments of clarity, then perhaps not all is truly lost. And with the calls of my friends, my sisters and brothers in arms reaching out to me time and again, I begin to feel in my heart, rather than just in my ears, that I am truly useful again. 

So much of this comes from the look of relief on the face of the Justicar when I hand her a cup of hot tea, or when Koryander smiles so broadly when she hugs me. The other soldiers, when I tap the keg of winter tea and they come by for their portion during dinner. Little smiles and little words of thanks. I gain pleasure from these…I flinch, too, because the fear is not all gone, and I worry that perhaps it is not so good, but I can at least tell myself now that I am likely mistaken. To see honest people express themselves so clearly is a wonderful balm. 

And there is another…

He is so very kind. So very gentle. He knows my troubles and does not mind them, and smiled to see me the next morning. When he was wounded, I was afraid, and relieved when he seems to be resting and healing well today. He treads in darkness…but I am not afraid of him, and can see only light.  This too is enough.

I am happy.

Author Wallaroo
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