The following is the in-character journal of Idella in WoW Retail. She writes often and can be found doing so, but she’s been very good at keeping the journal to herself. If interrupted during writing sessions, she hastily shoves the journal into the side satchel she keeps on her person at all times. I include these IC details in case someone wants to hop on them for RP purposes. She’s also referencing older storylines from her, which you can read by clicking on the scarlet or red lady tags on this post.
I really didn’t think this through. Why did I confide in Ryml?
I mean, he’s nice. Sometimes. I really could do without his comments about my dresses or who I should be dating. He’s such a prude, sometimes. But he sprang me from that cell when my friends didn’t believe who I was. He was the only one who listened. And he’s been the only one who’s really listened since then… but why did I think it was a good idea to have him listen to that? What’s wrong with me?
Maybe it’s because we’re all cooped up on this ship. Naz’jatar is coming and we’ll be surrounded by enemies, too. Some of the oldest, most accomplished magic users in our history. And their queen is practically inviting us to come, which means we have to be careful. Maybe it’s making me not think straight. I’m constantly bumping into Ryo and it’s hard not to see the expressions on his face. Then that tide sage, Aderyn, who knew my name before I even talked to her. Then when Calidoun revealed himself to be a Black Harvest warlock… it’s all just — everything is tense here. Maybe I cracked under the pressure.
But Ryml? Of all people? It’s not like he’s bad, but… some of the things he says. About Daisy. At first, I thought it was really sad, someone talking to their lost love every night. But now I’m not so sure. Worgen curses don’t involve voices, I’m sure of it. But he insists he heard her voice before he was touched by the Void… is he lying? Does he think he’s telling the truth? That’s how the Void works. It makes it feel like its desires are yours, its thoughts are yours, and now I’m more worried than ever. Maybe he wasn’t as stable as I thought… and of all people, I confided in HIM???
It’s because I feel alone. It’s because I don’t know if this is another dream or not. That’s it. It’s because I could be living Idella’s life but it’s not actually real. Any moment, I’ll wake up in another one of Claret’s lives and it’ll start all over again. I’ll act weird, everyone will think I’m not the person I should be. And I’ll have to figure it out on my own, play the part, and just wait till it starts all over again. Maybe that’s what’s happening. Maybe I never actually got away from her, like I thought. Maybe I’m still locked away somewhere. I have to find out, but I’m on this ship. I can’t leave. Not now. Now is the worst time.
What was I thinking??