Imagine, if you will, a gnome. Small. Precocious. Pink haired. Bright eyed. 

And buzzing to you with all the energy and cutting edges of a buzz saw.

The demon certainly was able to, and then was not. There was, however, a very neat little hole punched and cut right through him as the armor clad ball of pure spite and fury spun her way through the fray. She paused a moment to wipe the guts from her face and her helmet, and then swear, spitting on the ground. “Stupid son of a… DON’T GET IN MY WAY. YOU LOST. OKAY. WE’RE DONE NOW.”

Stomps off in a thoroughly foul mood, heading towards the pools of crystal clear water near the Illidari encampment. Gods dammit. You think those silly bastards would give it a godsdamn rest. She stomped. An unfortunate wolf stalking her soon had it’s knees removed and then it’s head. And you’d think a girl could get the time to take a BATH without having to slaughter her way to the bathing pools. Gods. Rude.

She spit again, then paused to take a sip of ginger water from her flask. Gods demons tasted like straight ass. She needed to get a mouthguard next time. Swirled it around, spit. Eyeballed the surronding scenery. Narrowed her eyes. Swore softly under her breath and got out a sword that almost seemed oversized for the tiny frame, and there it was again. A soft snicker, then quickly snuffed. 

“All right, asshole. I heard you. Who’s there and why can’t you step out like a normal being.” Another pause. Sheepish silence. The gnome began stalking towards it. “I said. Who’s there. You’re not a bandit, are you? That’d be really stupid, being a bandit.”

“W-Who me? Nooo. No. Not at all.” A high, slightly nervous voice now echoed out of a tree. The gnome paused. Looked up. The voice coughed. “Ehm. I mean, that’d be stupid. Right. I mean, with all the demons and stuff.”

“Right. Exactly.” The gnome looked upwards. Still stained with demon gore. Turquoise eyes bright with malice and extreme ill temper. The person in the tree gulped. Sure, she seemed like an easy mark, even with armor. But she could heft that sword like a godsdamn trooper and she did look really….really dirty with…oh my gods was that intestines hanging off her helmet.

“I…err. Well. I’m just…enjoying the good weather. Yeah. I mean. Celebrating a little. End of the war, right?” The voice tried laughing. The gnome was eyeballing the tree, swinging her sword back and forth. The trunk didn’t look that bad. The person in the tree began to talk faster. “You know us elves. Always in trees and stuff. Yep. Just doin’ elf stuff here. Nothing much beyond that. H-hey! HEY!”

There was a thump, and then another. And another. The gnome backed up and ran forward again, using her shield as a battering ram. The tree shook. And shook. Good gods, how much force could she generate? The elf grabbed a branch, but given the tree was little more then a high bush, it snapped, and he came tumbling out, flailing. The gnome wrinkled her nose as he fell at her feet. He was darker toned then a night elf, black purple hair. Strange accent. 

“What kind of elf are you?” 

“Just a local! Just a local guy! I swear…oh my GODS YOU HAVE LUNGS ON YOUR SWORD.” He screeched and back pedalled in horror. The gnome peered at her blade and grunted, wiping it off on his pants.

“Yeah, well, if you bastards gave me TWO GODSDAMNED MINUTES I’d have time to properly tend to my weaponry!” She then levelled the blade at him and glared, and he gulped. No, it shouldn’t be obvious he bore the charms and baubles of races that just recently arrived on the shore. Or he carried the satchel of a Stormwind guard. Or the hat of a human hunter. Her eyes narrowed. 

Some time later she was able to make it to the pools. A naked elf had been left, bound up, at the feet of some surprised Illidari, with his stolen possesions bagged beside him. And several bruises and a broken nose. 

Author Wallaroo
Views 513


No Comments

Leave a Reply