You did what you could.
Somedays it was hard, this pain. When the smiles were so sweet and genuine but she…she was asking for the usual business, the chore, the guidance. You knew that one or this would suffer but you did as you were bid, because you were in her employ and she meant that much to you.
It was just orders. Just doing as you were bid.
She sighed and closed the book, having blown gently on the ink to dry it, having put the sharp edged quill aside. Brushed aside strands of red hair from her face, already streaked with a few grey hairs, too early, too young. Closed her eyes. It was one thing to be enchanted. Those poor fools didn’t know any better, didn’t have a choice.
But she did. She knew. She still followed.
She sighed and drew down another book, a book of spells, and began to make further notes. Guilt plagued her as her heart ached. She could only make the fire so hot. That might displease her, but it was the best she could do for now. She would not let them suffer anymore. It was better to be quick, to freeze the nerves and then let all turn to ash. She tried to tell herself that. Be hard, Be cold. Necessity. Practicality. Efficiency. All men died. She was just part of the cycle.
She was just following orders.